


the aftermath

by coldairballoons



Category: Murdoch Mysteries
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 09:14:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30086820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldairballoons/pseuds/coldairballoons
Summary: Set after s14e11: "Everything is Broken Part Two"
Relationships: Jack Walker/Llewellyn Watts
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	the aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways,,, how we feelin',,,,,,,,,,,,

Llewelyn’s face burned, and he could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes, cast downwards at the ground as Jack stared helplessly at the door, jaw agape. “I… Clara, wait-”

“Jack.” Llewelyn whispered, but his voice stuck in his throat, only allowing him a choked-out gasp. This would be his ruin. This would be  _ their _ ruin. He squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them, as though trying to blink away a bad dream.

What was it that Jack had said that day in the cells, leaned together, bruised and bloody? “Don’t throw that away.”, ‘that’ referring to… his job, his life, what he loved to do. His passion, what he had worked tirelessly to do. ‘That’ would be thrown away, discarded, and now he was praying to a God he didn’t know if he actually believed in that Jack’s fiancee hadn’t seen his face.

The door shut again, and Llewelyn didn’t try to hide the flinch that came as a hand pressed his bare shoulder--Jack’s hand. He looked up, and his lover looked so much more heartbroken and scared than he had ever seen him… 

And Llewelyn knew he looked the same. Scared, helpless, that knowledge that all he loved would most likely be ripped from him.

“I’m sorry.” Jack croaked, and suddenly Llewelyn’s nose was pressed to his bare collarbone and he was shaking with sobs, or was Llewelyn the one crying? He couldn’t tell, but this was a new kind of closeness, so different from earlier, no longer the pleasurable desperation, but the terrified need for contact. “I’m- fuck, Llewelyn, Lew, I’m so-”

“Don’t, please-” Llewelyn tried to say, tried to tell Jack that it wasn’t his fault, but it just ended up being a mumbled slurring of words, and he shook his head. It  _ was _ Jack’s fault, but it was Llewelyn’s as well, and Clara’s, and the whole damn world’s fault…

And in that moment, Llewelyn Watts didn’t know if he’d felt more alone in his whole life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comfort characters? Make them feel pain.  
> \- Peter Mitchell, probably.


End file.
